Don’t be one of the creepy people at the gym

You’ve seen those creepy people at the gym who often act like they’re doing nothing wrong while invading everyone’s personal space and “setting up” interaction.

Every gym has them. From dudes who leer at women to others who stare at you for no reason. But I’ll be real: Those leering at women tend to get caught and, somehow, end up making a new friend. As for the starers, they’re weird, but discarded as harmless.

But let me tell you about the worst of the worst. This one dude at my gym who I’ll call Salazar due to his resemblance to Salazar Slytherin from Harry Potter, is that passive-aggressive creeper. And nobody is immune from him.

He’s the introverted-extrovert. Someone who tries to make conversation, but is absolutely miserable at it. He’ll act like he’s watching one of the TVs hanging from the rafters, rubbing the back of his fingers and glancing at members who are passing by.

Once he finds his prey, he’ll glance over, glance back at the TV, then glance at them again, before moving in. Then, he’ll act like he’s just standing there and drinking from his water bottle. Once they finish their set, he’ll lock eyes with them, feign a surprised look then beeline over.

I found myself in his crosshairs for months

I’m often a nice guy at the gym. If I’m working in a three or four-exercise circuit, and if someone wants to use one of the stations I’m at, I let them. “I’ll go do something else,” I’ll say. “Then work my way back over.”

I give most people smiles and nods, and get my work done. But this guy wouldn’t stop. He’d find ways to corner me, telling me about how his aging father still treats him like a child. “Yeah, he’s like that,” he’d tell me, with an uncomfortable, forced chortle.

Like, dude, if you’re a senior citizen and you’re letting your father dominate you, I have a tough time feeling for you. If you haven’t learned to stick up for yourself now, it ain’t happening. It was the same story for two months, and I’d long realized this guy wants to talk for the sake of conversing, and that doesn’t fly with me.

My one friend also found themselves in Salazar’s crosshairs. And it was the same kind of conversation. Finally, they gave the dude the silent treatment, even as he stood over them while they were changing into their gym shoes. Once again, he acted like he was drinking water and watching the TV while inching closer, closer, and closer.

Another time, my friend was on the cables, and this gym creep got to within six inches of them while they were performing a set. Once again, he rolled with the old water drinking and staring trick, but not bothering to watch TV this time.

My friend was so annoyed, they said, “What do you want?” in such a forceful tone that the guy bolted into the back room.

Why Salazar epitomizes the creepy people at the gym archetype

My day job was the reason I all but got rid of this guy. It was April, and NHL teams were clinching playoff berths. So, they asked me to work later and get content up immediately following the game if a team either clinched or got knocked out of contention.

This meant I could wait until about 8:30 a.m. to get to the gym the following morning, shortly after he left. One day, I wasn’t so lucky. I went into the back room and performed some weighted carries. And there he was, staring at me.

“Hey,” he said, brows furrowing. “I didn’t make you mad or anything, did I?”

I’d been looking for an excuse to get away from this whacko jacko, but no, it was my work schedule.

The response? “Yeah, I haven’t seen you in here in a long time, so I thought I just said something that upset you.”

Just for clarification, “a long time” was actually six days. Still, dude, that drove home two points. One, you’re insecure and you’re in your seventies, so I’ll bet that you’re not changing. And two, who the hell asks that kind of question, literally assuming that was the case?

I wanted to ask, “I’m 33. Why the hell am I on your mind?”

If someone in their seventies is thinking of a dude in their thirties don’t come across as creepy, I don’t know what does. I’ve been going to the gym for nearly two decades, and I’ve never had anyone ask me that.

“Hey, where ya been?” is the correct question to ask if you haven’t seen someone in a while. It’s fucking universal. So if you don’t understand it, then I don’t know what to say to you.

Don’t be this guy and if you are, just stop it

People like this creep are some of the weakest human beings I know. Not physically weak, but they’re so mentally weak that you don’t need them to be one of the five people you’re closest to. Why? Because you’re the sum of those people.

They’re complete socially-desperate wannabes who know zero boundaries. That’s why, in a fitness setting, I call them “creepy people at the gym.” But it’s not just confined to the gym. Coffee shops, workplaces, anywhere that involves groups of people aren’t immune.

And two words of thumb about me: If I don’t look at you, then don’t talk to me. If I give you a dirty look, then definitely don’t talk to me.

So, if a weirdo like this approaches you at the gym, grocery store, wherever, just ignore them. And if the problem persists, let ’em have it. Tell ’em what you think about them and to stay the fuck away from you. Let them know they’re absolute creeps and that their personalities are complete turn-offs.

One man who would’ve resorted to fisticuffs

One gym rat who would’ve told this guy to stay the hell away from him is Quinn Cozens, the protagonist in my dystopian survival trilogy, Beyond the Lost. And if the man persisted? Quinn would’ve smashed his head against the gym wall.

Quinn don’t put up with bullshit, regardless of where he’s at or who’s near him. Hell, he didn’t even put up with a sharp-tongued K-pop idol’s crap, despite her stunning looks.

Quinn’s focused on bettering himself, not listening to another’s admission over how weak they are. He’s the antithesis to Salazar. Meaning he’s a participant, not a spectator who doesn’t know when to stop.

If you want proof, meet him in my 37,000-word novella, Beyond the Lost Horizon. See how Quinn interacts with Yui, and how his no B.S. personality helps them navigate through the deadliest terrorist attack in American history. And best yet? No Salazars will get in his way.