My high school teachers and their Hogwarts equivalents

My high school teachers were an eclectic cast of characters who barely taught me a damn thing about life. But there were (maybe) a few good ones.

I’ll tell you right now: this is a list of shame. I didn’t have a ton of great teachers in high school, or even many good ones.

Still, this was a fun and mentally challenging exercise in the best ways. So, which teachers from my old high school were mostly like the Hogwarts staff? Keep reading and you’ll find out.

Side Note: I’m vaguely describing each teacher for obvious reasons. I don’t need any lawsuits thrown on my head.

Minerva McGonagall/11th-grade language arts teacher

Short, direct, and not afraid to take a risk or two. Somewhat polarizing, but had talent for shutting things down before they got out of hand. A teacher you didn’t want to cross.

Filius Flitwick/12th-grade senior review teacher

Exercised patience with most of us and was smart enough to know we didn’t want to be in school anymore. Still, they made the class more interactive, and that gave me Flitwick vibes.

Pomona Sprout/ninth-grade language arts teacher

Would’ve easily been put in Hufflepuff if they were a student. Friendly, but strict enough that the class never got out of control. That said, we took advantage of plenty of substitute teachers.

Severus Snape/tech teacher

Nah, they didn’t like me much. Why? I don’t know. I brought it up to my brother over Thanksgiving. His response? “They didn’t like anyone.” Well, there you go…

Rubeus Hagrid/ninth-grade science teacher

Listen, Hagrid sucked as a professor, so I could’ve put 75 percent of my high school teachers here. If I had to choose one, it’d be the good old brick thief. Hell, Hagrid taught Care of Magical Creatures better than they did physical science. But then again, it’s impossible to make that branch of science remotely interesting.

Madam Hooch/11th-grade chemistry teacher

I never had them in chemistry, but they oversaw my study hall period senior year. This was a teacher who knew how to at least make a boring subject like chemistry interesting, per a few of my friends. Still, it wasn’t wise to mess with materials in the chem lab and if they caught you, you’d’ve been kicked outta school faster than you could say, “chemistry.”

Cuthbert Binns/ninth-grade world history teacher

Literally, the only difference was that the world history teacher in question wasn’t a ghost. I don’t know how half the class didn’t fall asleep in that one, because they droned for an hour during “note-taking day.”

Sybill Trelawney/10th-grade science teacher

Actually, they weren’t a half-bad teacher. But their over-the-top personality is what makes them equivalent. Still, I probably would’ve enjoyed Trelawney’s classes. I mean, who wouldn’t like Divination?

Quirinus Quirrell/11th-grade math teacher

That class was chaos and we threw things at them. Quirrell may’ve had eyes sticking out the back of his head, but this math teacher didn’t. Hell, I don’t even think their ears worked right except when the most notorious class clowns were out and about. So, why are they equivalent? The teacher in question was “scared” of their own subject, having reluctantly left the science department for math.

Gilderoy Lockhart/shop teacher

If there was one teacher half my friends would’ve described as “stuck up,” it’s the shop teacher. This one thought they owned the school and often called the basketball court in the gymnasium as “my floor.”

Remus Lupin/12th-grade citizenship teacher

If there was ever one public school teacher who took themselves down to the level of their students and did it correctly, it was them. They were the teacher you could have a civilized conversation with outside of the classroom, and one of those teachers who actually made it worth attending their class.

Alastor Moody/Barty Crouch Jr./11th-12th-grade psych teacher

This was tough, but if there was anyone I could say had “imposter syndrome,” it was the psych teacher. But not in the way that Barty Crouch Jr. impersonated Alastor Moody. For the life of me, I have no idea how they had gone so long fooling every single administration that they were equipped to teach. Still, we “learned loads” thanks to the number of awesome movies we watched…

Horace Slughorn/eighth-grade language arts teacher

No, I wasn’t in high school during my time in the eighth grade. Instead, this teacher moved up to the high school three years after I had them in the eighth grade. They were rather large, and were more interested in forging connections with a select number of students, especially athletes. Sound familiar?

Dolores Umbridge/tenth-grade language arts teacher

May’ve been my easiest one to date. This one literally declared war on and treated students like criminals except for a tiny inner circle. Oh, and they also had a voice so soft, you knew it was fake.

Albus Dumbledore/ninth-grade principal

Honestly, because they never raised their voice, even when you did something wrong. Like Dumbledore, they also mastered more than just one trade, serving as the color commentator for the high school football Game of the Week even after they retired from the public school life.

As you can see, none of these high school teachers were that good, sans a select few. And I swear: some of them just wanted the paycheck. Hell, at least half, if not more, were there for the paycheck.

But that’s not the case for my protagonist in The Arcane Prophecy, Yote Diamondback. She’s getting more teachers like the citizenship teacher I had during my senior year of high school more than anyone else. And you’ll see that in the book.

Check out the first three chapters now, meet Yote, get to know her situation, and find out how she ended up at Arcane Elemental Academy.