The common denominator in the modern gender war

The modern gender war has erupted into “he said she said,” and it’s prompted grown adults on both sides of the aisle to play the infamous victim card.

Out of curiosity, I once sat in on one of those women’s recognition meetings at my old job in March 2024. I didn’t belong there, and I knew it. The meeting wasn’t for me, nor was I the intended audience. Still, I wanted to hear what they said behind the curtain, especially since I had a strong suspicion about where the conversation would go.

Sure enough, much of it revolved around how structures, expectations, and, of course, men, held back women. The underlying message was clear enough: the world was stacked against women, and men were the primary beneficiaries of that imbalance.

Clearly, the session framed the workplace as one where men held power and women had to constantly fight for recognition and fairness.

I walked out of that meeting thinking about how familiar the script felt. It was a narrative I’d seen in articles, social media threads, and corporate training sessions. The details changed, but the core idea stayed the same. Men had the advantage, and women carried the burden.

Then, months later, I started noticing something at my local gym.

When I realized both sides were guilty of the gender war

The men I talked to weren’t executives or political activists. Most of them were regular guys trying to get through the day. A few were divorced, others had just gotten out of long-term relationships, and some had never married at all.

What they shared wasn’t a political ideology so much as a mood. Many of them were bitter, tired, or resentful about how their relationships played out.

Listening to them, the narrative flipped completely. In their world, women were the problem. They talked about manipulative partners, brutal divorces, custody battles, and the sense that the legal system treated them like disposable parts.

Some spoke about dating like it was a rigged game. Others checked out altogether. They showed up at the gym, lifted their weights, and kept their expectations low.

Standing there, it struck me how similar the emotional energy felt between those two environments. The meeting room at the virtual office carried its own kind of frustration, and the gym conversations carried a different flavor of it.

Yet beneath the surface, the tone was almost identical. Each side believed the other held power, and thought the system railed against them. And each felt wronged and played the victim card.

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