Why grade school sucked (the school days lasted FOREVER)

Middle school may’ve been the worst, but grade school was such a drag that I’ll get a migraine headache just thinking about those formative years. 

Imagine this scenario. You’re within walking distance from your own home, thinking about playing video games, maybe tossing the football around, and watching your favorite TV shows. But, the law says you must spend six and a half hours inside a building that’s boiling in the warmer months and freezing in the colder months.

How hot did it get in there? They let us bring water bottles with us. Until we reached fourth grade anyway, and got the air-conditioned rooms.

Not to mention, we were forced to read boring stories, study State-approved history, and State-approved science. The latter two meant you studied what those in biased academia settings told you to study. Propaganda, in other words. At least I know that now.

Here I am, looking back on grade school, saying to myself, “No wonder the damn day lasted for an eternity.”

The most exciting aspect of grade school had nothing to do with it

I was in grade school during the good old Attitude Era, back when people knew WWF more for pro wrestling than it did for an organization that holds animals to a higher regard than people. But some of us pulled for WCW to win the good old Monday Night War, and we literally divided ourselves into factions based on our preferences.

There was the nWo/Wolfpac Club that me and my friend headed up. One day, and I don’t know how I evaded this one, there was a scuffle in the back of our third-grade class. It happened during an “indoor recess” since the weather was trash that day.

One of the tougher kids in the room starts bawling his eyes out. We all turn, and see the biggest kid in the class lying face down, covering his face. That, my friends, was the first time I’d ever seen a fight break out, and it was way more entertaining than anything else that went on at that school.

Since I was on the other end of the room, I escaped trouble. As for my friend who orchestrated everything? Suspended for three days. The tough kid? Also out for three days. The big kid who threw the first punch and ended up on the floor? Five days.

It took a fistfight to make grade school interesting

Of course, the teacher, ashen-faced because of what happened, explained to us in a bland voice of why such behavior wasn’t acceptable. I think it was the first time they ever saw a fight between two kids at such a young age.

But it wasn’t the first time we wreaked havoc. During the second grade, me and that same friend enjoyed terrorizing other kids on the playground. They’d play kickball at the makeshift ballfield, and we’d steal the ball and run with it. The rest of recess had them chasing us all over the playground.

One of my favorite pastimes in grade school and going into middle school involved nonchalantly walking up to someone’s lunch and stealing something off it. That one gave me some weird looks. But again, I was bored. Even then, part of me knew I’d never use what they were teaching me later in life, so I may as well have fun somehow.

And hand me a crystal ball and rechristen me Nostradamus, because I was right. So watching fistfights, wreaking havoc on the playground and in the cafeteria, and generally getting away with it because I was a sneaky little kid had its moments.

But when that lost its luster, finding ways to orchestrate fights became my next forte. Not that I was any good at it. Though in high school, I did help fix the voting for the Homecoming Court. But that’s a tale for another time.

None of the above was malicious, though. It was mischief. Mischief that stemmed from failing to fit an environment the State forced me into.

How to stop this madness from happening

If you want grade-school-level kids to take the shit they’re supposed to learn seriously, maybe clumping them into a single class and in uncomfortable desks isn’t a good idea. Nor is telling them to sit still, face the front, and not to talk unless they have permission.

I mean, think back to when you were a kid. Chances are, you were full of energy, so nothing your grade school teacher did was organic. So, starting trouble was an outlet.

But how do you stop this?

Some say bring back the old switch and beat kids’ asses. But I beg to differ. What the hell’s physical punishment teaching them? To fear and bow down to authority? Except when it instead sparks more resistance and retaliation, but simple-minded, self-righteous adults have a tough time seeing reason.

Why not tailor shit to fit them? Maybe then, they’ll get out of bed with more energy, looking forward to learning? And maybe they won’t groan on a Monday. Best yet? They probably won’t even think about doing anything stupid like what me and my friend did as personal pastimes when we were in school.

That said, public school, or traditional schooling, isn’t the answer. It’s an artificial environment not suited for a kid’s relentless energy. And you know what happens? A lot of them end up on medication for ADHD and shit. Not because they have a problem, but because the State’s doing all it can to enforce something that’s not naturally suited for six-, seven-, and eight-year-old kids.

Taking a different path…

In my young adult fantasy, Arcane Elemental Academy, Yote Diamondback isn’t sitting in class and listening to boring-ass lectures. She’s an active participant in practical learning. So much, that even history doesn’t involve relentless and complicated note-taking, but interactive stories meant to spark curiosity, not compliance.

And what happens? She finds out, quickly, that such learning is far superior to the traditional method she grew up with. It’s because every class, or gathering, she’s in, is tailored to hers and her “classmates'” unique learning styles and personalities.

Nobody at Arcane is dreading school. But, this series isn’t all about making the case for why practical learning and immersive, interactive environments are superior. It’s still a story, and one that contains plenty of action, a slew of twists and turns, and one overarching antagonist.

No, Yote doesn’t have a Lord Voldemort to deal with. Instead, she’ll find out one disturbing clue. The antagonist in this book series, as in all my series, is the State. Read the first three chapters now and see if you can connect the dots.