Digital painting of a disinterested teenage student slouched at his desk in a dimly lit classroom, arms crossed, wearing a black leather jacket and a deadpan expression. Behind him, an older English teacher with glasses stands in front of a chalkboard marked “TEST,” looking stern and frustrated. Other bored students sit slumped at their desks, heads down, disengaged from the lesson. The mood is apathetic, oppressive, and reflective of uninspired public schooling.

“You snooze, you lose.” Oh, really, Miss English Teacher?

ByTC Marti

My old high school English teacher told me I lost. Over 15 years later, I proved how useless that class was. I mean, useless as hell.

I never liked my English teacher from senior year. This one gave us spelling tests. Yeah, seniors getting spelling tests. No, I wasn’t in college prep classes anymore since I stopped caring about school prestige a few years back.

But damn. Spelling tests? And you wonder why I always say public schools suck. Maybe a few classmates needed to write a list of ten words because they couldn’t spell. But geez, I can write up an entire rant about how much I had to hold in a scoff when the 25 lads and lasses I was in class with couldn’t stay awake.

While I aced spelling tests, I still ended up with a ‘C’ that year. Why? Half the time I refused to do any work, instead opting to put my name at the top and turn the paper in as-is. Hey, it saved that teacher time, even if they warned me not to let my grade slip.

Then came the mid-term test. And you know what? I didn’t feel like showing up, so I skipped it. Instead, I made a grand entrance right when most had finished.

“Where were you?” the teacher said.

“Slept in,” I replied.

“You snooze, you lose.”

“Yup,” I deadpanned, leaning back in my seat and crossing my arms.

Who was this English teacher, anyway?

They taught twelfth-grade English since I’d gotten there. And they were the last English teacher standing from when I first arrived at the high school in 2005-06. Literally every single one of them retired, including three following my freshman year.

They also taught media communications, which I probably would’ve taken under better circumstances. But who the hell wants to cover the “happenings” at a fringe rural high school with about 500 students, less than half of whom actually want to be there?

Here was a rundown of the “happenings,” in case you’re curious:

  • The football team sucked
  • The cafeteria food was worse
  • Someone got caught with snuff
  • Someone else had a miscarriage in the bathroom (seriously)
  • The “drug-head” clique smoked weed on the bleachers
  • Girls got into catfights
  • The baseball team was good, but it was so damn cold nobody cared to watch them

Seriously, I didn’t need a school newspaper to tell me what the hell was going on. Plus, I had enough of that teacher after the first go-around. Why would I even want to go back for Round 2? God, that sounded awkward. If it was the ninth-grade math teacher, I would’ve gone back for Round 2. Just sayin’…

Maybe if the class hosted a tabloid talk show called “Tesla High Trash,” I’d have gladly signed up. Or if the class parodied 1980s “Brat Pack Era” flicks like The Breakfast Club, I’d’ve played along. Epic movie, by the way.

Anyway, I’ll claim victory

The Arcane Prophecy by TC MartiTake it from someone who actually works in digital media under (name redacted). But hey, even if I got fired tomorrow, I proved one point: You don’t need a media communications class from an English teacher to take you where you want to go.

Hell, you don’t even need to show up for a mid-term that, in hindsight, will have no effect on your life. I even proved you don’t need to perform well in school or even go to college for this. Just have a damn good idea, a unique personality, and tell readers who criticize you to go screw off.

You do that, then nothing will stand in your way. Just like nothing stood in Yote Diamondback’s way when she discovered how…special…she was. While I won’t reveal that specialty in the first three chapters of the book she takes the starring role in, I’ll drop you a few hints. So, check out The Arcane Prophecy’s opening act right now, get to know Yote, and see if you can guess what makes her unique, different, and special.

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